S. Diane Yamada, MD; Stephanie V. Blank, MD; Angeles Alvarez Secord, MD, MHSc; Wendy Brewster, MD, PhD; Amanda Nickles Fader, MD
This is the time of year when I create a list of gifts and notes to thank people for all they have done or acknowledge how special they are to me. It’s always been a small token of the gratitude I feel and has been a family tradition for a long while. And typically, when I find the perfect something that I think will make someone smile, I feel that sense of well-being that comes with giving and gratitude. As 2023 comes to a close, in the midst of all the world’s conflicts, I’ve been a bit afraid the year may be harder to reflect on. On a personal level, I’ve lost my mother, a long-term mentor, Arthur Herbst, MD, and my best friend of the last 30 years, Wendy Brewster, MD, PhD, to metastatic pancreatic cancer. Through residency, fellowship training and beyond, every holiday was spent looking in person or online for the perfect pair of sunglasses or for a sweater Wendy might enjoy.
I’ve never been one to dwell on the “headwinds” that slow us down, but recently, I found myself listening to a Hidden Brain podcast, the Enemies of Gratitude (October 23, 2023) with Tom Gilovich, PhD, to re-right myself a little and focus on the many “tailwinds” that occur in my life for which I am grateful. My family, of course, is a constant. Getting to hear my daughter Cameron, who is a general surgery intern, regale me with many of the funny hospital scenarios that brought Wendy and me closer together as interns is a tailwind. Working at my institution with the most supportive and inspiring faculty and staff I could ask for has been a tailwind. Living Wendy’s words of “perform an act of kindness that makes a difference in someone’s life” has been something I aspire to do every day – saying thank you to the transport or EVS people who make our hospital run or buying a cup of coffee for a staff member standing in line. In what can feel like crazy times, these small things make me feel better.
In my SGO presidential address in 2022, I talked about crucibles – how traumatic life events could make one re-evaluate one’s values and what is important. I used that as a metaphor for what was happening to our subspecialty after COVID. Personal loss this year has been my crucible. But it has reinvigorated my commitment to our family values, to my friends that Wendy was instrumental in bringing together and who were cemented together by experiences, and to the incredible gynecologic oncology community and the many SGO members who, in the spirit of true support, have sent me innumerable texts and notes filled with encouragement and heartwarming emojis.
I’m not sure I will keep a gratitude journal or make my family list the things they are grateful for at dinner, but I do know I will continue to honor my friend’s legacy and perform those little acts of kindness that she hoped would have a resounding ripple effect. As I reflect on the past year and look forward to the holidays, I’d like to express my gratitude to our very special community. I think the words of researcher Brené Brown, PhD, LCSW, from Rising Strong may resonate here:
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
S. Diane Yamada, MD, is a gynecologic oncologist at the University of Chicago in Chicago, IL.