Tiffany Sia, MD
As a mother, partner, and busy gynecologic oncology fellow, I feel as if I am constantly running from task to task. The days are filled with exciting surgeries and patient care responsibilities. After work in the hospital is done, nights are for running a functional household: buying groceries, planning meals, and doing laundry. Shoved in between all this are little golden nuggets of quality family time, as well as moments dedicated to research, writing, and finally (big sigh), self-care. As the holiday season and end of the calendar year approaches, I try to dedicate some time for reflection. Sometimes it can be difficult to see what lies ahead without assessing how far you’ve come.
If I had to write a letter to my elementary school self, who had never watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy or House, I would write that being a gynecologic oncologist is the best job in the world, and that, although the days are busy and sometimes long, it is an endlessly rewarding job. We are blessed with the best patients and we are also practicing at a time when lots of exciting new changes are happening. I would remind my younger self to be curious and have passion for both day-to-day life as well as the long-term projects that I undertake. I would tell myself that no matter how smart or hardworking one is, learning how to work as a team is one of the most essential life skills for success. The road through medicine is full of twists and turns, and it certainly is long, but traveling through with a little help from friends and colleagues along the way is part of what makes it all worth it.
These past few months of being a new clinical fellow have been exceptionally fulfilling. There have also been a lot of firsts: first lymph node dissections, first bowel perforation and resections, first time leading a resident through a case. The learning curve is steep and the stakes are high. Importantly, I realize that these few key months of training will shape me up to become the future gynecologic oncologist I want to be.
So, what does wellness have to do with all this? For some, wellness is cucumber spa-time and relaxation, lots of naps, warm sun, and absence of under-eye bags. But I would argue that wellness is also a certain feeling of competence, job satisfaction, and comradery. Although fellowship is full of ups and downs, I like to keep a running log of moments that are important to me (mostly positive comments from my faculty, though in public I’d never admit it) that I can refer to after a tough day where it seemed nothing was going right. These moments, along with support from my family and co-fellows, sustain me and keep me feeling “well.” Even now, 5 months into the clinical year, I am learning something new every day and am humbled by how much there is yet to learn. Our job is really tough, but we as physicians are so lucky to have patients put their complete trust in us during surgery, lucky to be able to work with friends and mentors, and lucky to be learning about and contributing to a body of knowledge that is constantly changing and shifting for the greater good.
With all that said, I wish all the readers of this blog Happy Holidays! I wish you a pause from constantly running. I wish you time to reflect on how far you have come, what you are grateful for, and what motivates you to keep being the best version of yourself you can be. After taking a step back, you may feel gratitude and have greater clarity about your goals for the new year and beyond.
Tiffany Sia, MD, is a gynecologic oncology fellow at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York, NY.